“If you are married and you are not having better sex, you are doing something wrong,” says comedian Mitch Fatel.
Fatel spent decades talking about his sexual adventures, and the pursuit of them — until he got married. Now, married to a bisexual free spirit, Fatel is a carnal crusader.
In this episode of “The Big Questions,” Fatel talks about how reality TV gets marriage wrong, what he’s not allowed to say and why he’s not sad to see David Letterman retire.
Below is an excerpt of our talk, but the entire conversation — in which Fatel talks about handling hecklers, his writing process and yes, more sex — can be downloaded via SoundCloud or streamed on YouTube.
“The Big Questions” is part of the Sun-Times Media Local Podcast Network.
Q: You’ve spent so much of your career talking about how you used stand-up comedy to get girls, but now that you’re married …
Mitch Fatel: I got the ultimate girl.
Q: Right, but the thing is: you still use comedy to get girls. That arrangement seems to have not changed.
Fatel: Life works out the way it is suppose to. I met the one girl who was wilder than me, more crazy than me and … I was like, “That’s the girl I have to marry!” She’s bisexual, and when we met, she told me, “I just have to have to admit that I am just as attracted to women as I am to men.”
Fatel: I disagree with you. I am not a huge “Duck Dynasty” fan, but I think one of the reasons “Duck Dynasty” works so well is it showed strong marriages.
I think when reality TV came out, it was very interesting for people to see people actually fighting on camera, and then people got savvy to that and realized that it was all set up …
New reality shows had to find something different and they actually started changing ... my reality show is about the power of marriage and basically how much I loved it and how my wife has made me a better person.
Q: You had a show for a while with her on Sirius Radio, “Sex and Swinging with Mitch and Jessica.” That’s a lot of talk about sex. And now Jessica is a sex therapist?
Fatel: She will be in a couple of years. She is in school right now.
I’ve never met a woman who is so sexually confident about herself. She never used sex for power, she never used sex as some sort of tool to get something. She just likes having sex.
Everyone thinks that in marriage, sex goes down. Sex can only get better if you are in a good marriage. It can only get better. That is why marriage was invented. It is so people can just be themselves, and let loose and role-play and have fun.
Q: But I think you are talking about the building of intimacy and trust ...
Fatel: Are you going to kiss me? [laughs]
Sex is only dirty between two adults who aren’t really both consenting to the fun of it. And I think that is what a marriage is. I never had good sex when I was single. I used to think it was good sex, until I had married sex where I realized that is ... the intimacy to try something with your partner to not be to not be embarrassed if you don’t perform a certain way one night. That’s never happened to me ... [comic pause].
Marriage is sexy and it can be done the right way.
Q: Your appearance on David Letterman was important to you, and he just announced that he’s retiring so what impact did that announcement have on you?
Fatel: It didn’t have any impact on me because I started to dislike Letterman a lot in the last 10-15 years.
Once a comedian starts injecting their politics, and it is obvious and it is not even funny anymore and whatever your politics are … that becomes very boorish and annoying and preachy to me. And Letterman became political in the last 10 years.
If you are going to see Madonna, I just want to see Madonna. I don’t want to hear her start preaching to me about how I should be saving kids. And I don’t want to hear Bruce Springsteen telling me who to vote for, because there is a time and place for that. I wasn’t tuning into Letterman to hear his political views, and so I feel like he lost me.
Q: You’ve incorporated your life into your act. Is anything private?
Fatel: One time I talked about the fact that we were at a party and someone offered us Ecstasy. She got mad at this. And then Jessica was like, “You know, we’re going to get in trouble. You can’t talk about the fact that we did Ecstasy at a party ... the cops are going to show up and go through our safe.”
Honey get rid of the Ecstasy, I just admitted it again.
Mitch Fatel is performing tonight, April 11 though Sunday, April 13 at the Chicago Improv in Schaumburg. For tickets and info visit chicago.improv.com.
For more information about May visit: mitchfatel.com