HCS mentors find they helped themselves by teaching others

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Deborah Chenery (right), who has spent about a year as a volunteer mentor in the HCS Family Services Parent Mentor Program, poses for a holiday photo in December with the woman she mentored. | Photo courtesy of Deborah Chenery

Updated: March 3, 2012 8:04AM

As volunteers during the first year of the HCS Family Services Parent Mentor Program, Ann Hickey and Deborah Chenery made a commitment to go through a training program, and attend classes and meet twice a month with those they would be mentoring.

But virtually all the two Hinsdale women can talk about, as their year-long commitment comes to an end, is not how much they put into the program, but rather how much they got out of it.

“It really is a wonderful program,” Hickey said. “I would recommend it to anyone who has the time. You really feel like you’re having an impact. It’s been a real learning experience for me. There are so many things people tend to take for granted, especially living in Hinsdale. And being involved in this is an opportunity to know how other people live.”

Chenery said being involved in the program as a mentor provides the opportunity to do something very useful.

“Most people want to help somewhere along the way, but don’t know what they have to offer,” she said. “It’s an easy gift to give someone. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or what you do, when you’re a parent, we’re all the same. And there’s a real warmth to this program.”

Being involved as mentors in the program probably helped to fill a void for both Chenery and Hickey.

Hickey, a part-time fertility nurse, has three children, the youngest of whom went away to college in the fall. Chenery has four children, ages 16-31, and four grandchildren.

“I don’t think there’s anything more important than the role of a parent; it affects life so much,” Hickey said. “With my youngest going off to college, I think I wanted to be useful, productive and helpful.”

Chenery said, “I was in another parent mentoring program in Naperville, but it’s too far away for me. I think I’m attracted to doing this because it feels like a very natural joy I can share that might help another mom.”

The Parent Mentor Program was started by HCS Family Services because of a need expressed by several of the organization’s clients, said Trayce Biancalana, coordinator of the program.

“We found that a lot of clients can use a person to help them follow up on things,” she said.

“All of our clients who had mentors already have been getting regular case management and are financially struggling. They have all kinds of different stresses, and a lot of them are single-parent families. And they have all asked for help with parenting.”

After mentors go through training, they participate in a six-week nurturing program with those they are mentoring and continue to meet with them twice a month. Additional communication between the mentors and those they are mentoring is common.

“You don’t always have the answer for them, but just showing up and saying, ‘let’s talk about it,’ can be very helpful,” Chenery said. “This is about having an open heart and a sincere desire to be a friend to someone.”

A 46-year-old woman with a 15-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son is a client of HCS Family services who took advantage of the Parent Mentor Program.

“My experience with the mentor program has been outstanding,” she said. “The learning experience with the seminars has taught me so much that I am confident that my children will continue to benefit from the knowledge I acquired.

“I have not only learned so much from my mentor, but we have created a great relationship. By sharing her knowledge and experience I have been able to grow. Her guidance has help me looked at different views that without her help I would have not been able to see.

“To know that there is someone that cares and demonstrates their care for your well-being gives the hope and assurance that somehow one is able to go forward and work to be the best that one can be.”

While the first year of the Parent Mentor Program is coming to an end in March, Hickey said she has no plans to cut ties with the parent she has been mentoring.

“I can’t imagine saying goodbye or stop being in contact,” she said.

Biancalana said HCS Family Services is interested in hearing from anyone who wants to be a parent mentor in the future.

She can be contacted by phone at (630) 323-2500, ext. 108, or by email, Tbiancalana@HCSFFamilyservices.org.

HCS Family Services is a not-for-profit organization that attempts to prevent homelessness and food insecurity, help low-income individuals achieve their dreams of sustained economic self-sufficiency and to create an improved quality of life for themselves and their families, according to information from the organization.

HCS Family Services has served Clarendon Hills, Hinsdale, Burr Ridge, Oak Brook, Darien, Willowbrook and Westmont since 1937.